A week and almost a half ago, I was recruited into a progression raiding
guild. I was so happy to at last be raiding every night of the week (sans Friday
and Saturday) and to have a schedule that actually occurred.. to be in a guild
that had people who seemed just as motivated to raid, or could at least show up
on time. Anxious about the future, I gave up any plan I had to transfer servers.
Last night, my guild's Ventrilo went down. I thought nothing of it. When I
woke up this morning, it was still down. I still thought nothing of it. I went
out, had some coffee, got my fifteen minutes of sun then semi-rushed home for my
scheduled raid at 4PM, excited about rounding off my Tier 4 set with Gruul's
tokens. While waiting for WoW to load, I check the server forums only to find a
thread posted that my GM/raid leader has packed his bags and left the server for
greener pastures.. abandoning everyone in the guild and giving no notice
whatsoever.
The minute I log in, I get flooded with whispers that pretty much all say the
same thing: "omgomgomgomgomgomg."
Two dozen of us sitting in guild channel, pure textual anarchy. People
pointing fingers, people QQ'ing, people trying to pull things together and plan
for the future. Like after a family member's death, we all progressed through
the 12 steps of coping differently.
Naturally me and a few others had our spirits broken. Lost and confused, it
was hard to pull myself through even the most rudimentary tasks of healing. A
lot of the time I wanted to blame other people for things that were so obviously
my fault. And while others are hopeful about my guild's future, I can't help but
sit and wonder if any other server will take me into their progression guild.
My heart is broken and there's nothing left on this server for me.. but I
haven't enough cards on the table to transfer somewhere where I can be of more
use. Things are tough right now because the lynch pin of the guild is gone and
my only excuse for tolerating the other people that surround me has gone up and
left us all. And while I know for a fact that he didn't leave because of me (due
to unmentionable confirmation), I can't help but feel like it's my fault anyway.
I'm hoping tomorrow I'll feel better but I know tomorrow when I wake up, I
won't be raiding at 4PM. I'll be too morose to PVP. And I'll probably just sit
in a capital city sulking.
