Girlfriend was logged into her screen name on my computer...I told her how to update the addons and she tried.  It said "failed to update" (or something like that).  My thinking was that it failed cause she wasn't logged into my screen name which is admin on my computer.  I logged into my name and tried to re-update and it did.  Logged into the game and no "Add On" button at toon selection page.  Looked in the "add ons" folder and nothing was there, not even the old add ons.  Can't update via client again cause it says that everything is up to date.  It appears that when I updated the add ons the deleted everything...anyone got any ideas?

Regarding the failed to update, it's possible her account did not have proper directory permissions to update the addons.

When you're looking at the addon folder you're sure it's not a different directory?  That wow install is actually there?

Try installing an addon via the client and see if it's put into that folder?

this is true she prob didn't have permission, but would have that screw everything up?  I checked all folders, all the UI folders and every other folder that wasn't a UI folder and none of the add ons were in there.  I can't instal anything via the client cause it says that everything is up to date.  Now what?

Check the installpath of WoW in "Manage Games". This should indicate where the client has installed your addons and

still finds them.

Yes please check the manage games section.  That's what it's looking like right now.