Ain't the Size of the Murloc in the Fight (It's the Size of the Fight in the Murloc): Grunty's Plea to Join the Fight

I undestand that you doubt me because of the great harm my people have caused you.  But please believe me when I say that I am no longer one of them... nothing is left of that life.  I now only wish to join in the fight against the trolls.  There is nothing left of me, but the burning desire for revenge.  I wish for nothing but to go up to the six-fingered troll that killed my father and say, "Hello. My name is Grunty. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

My tale is one of great sorrow, for I was once happy despite that now I am very much not happy.  In fact, I would even say that I'm not even average or so-so.  I am quite sad even.  Sometimes when I'm alone I cry.  But let us not speak of such things, for warriors do not do such things so actually on second thought I don't cry.  But it is sad that I was once happy, because now I am very sad.  In fact, sometimes I cry.  Wait, I'm just kidding... I mean, as I was saying... *eyes tear up*

I lived in a small fishing village with my father and mother.  We spent our time fishing and eating and fishing, after this we would then sometimes go fishing thought sometimes we would take a nap and then go fishing.  I enjoyed it very much.  I was happy... UNTIL THAT FATEFUL DAY that the Shadowpine Trolls attacked.  You see, we are many things to many different people.  To your people we have been a great annoyance, to fish we are death encarnate, but to the Shadowpine Trolls we are the source of their favorite snack: pickled Murloc heads.

We held our own at first, but then an elite level 80 six-fingered troll appeared and started slaughtering everyone.  I watched my father get cleaved down right in front of me.  I challenged the six-fingered troll to a fight, but he evaded all my attacks.  Then, to mock me, he did a /kiss emote at me.  Overcome by the brutality of his taunt, I dropped to my knees and began to cry.  It was a hopeless battle.  My mother was one of the few that escaped, and those who were not killed were marched back to their troll camp.  What happened there was unspeakably bad.

When I woke-up I was surrounded by giants.  Wait, what?  No, I said it was UNSPEAKABLY BAD!  Do you not understand the words coming out of my mouth?  What do you mean murlocs can't speak?  I'll have you know that there are several that can!  Oh fine.  So, first I was shrunk using troll magic.  Then, when I was about to be salted a person appeared out of no where shouting "LEEEEEEEEEEEROYYYYY JENKINNNNNNNNS."  In the commotion that resulted, one of the trolls knocked over a giant vat of explosives, which then immediately exploded blasting everyone apart.  That is the last thing I remember before the giants - when I woke-up I was surrounded by giants.

"You've been asleep for several weeks.  In your sleep you were mumbling something about Shadowpine Trolls and your father being slaughtered.  It was because of this that we thought you would be an appropriate... subject."  I hopped to my feet as a strange chee-chee-chee-chee-chaa-chaa-chaa-chaa sound echoed through the air inexplicably.  The giant then said to me, "We have rebuilt you, we have the Gnomish Engineering, we had the capability to make the World of Warcraft's first bionic Murloc and we decided to do so."  My body is now what you see before you.  This armor is not ontop of my skin, but is my skin itself.

I was then released, and spent the next few months finding my way back to home.  I found my mother, who had since remarried and had thirteen dozen children.  She told me that she vaguely remembered having someone that looked like me, but that they weren't so freakishly tiny.  I explained to her that it was part of the Troll's magic, but she wouldn't believe me.  It was then that I realized that my previous life was over and that in my current one I had but one purpose: revenge.

I returned to the gnomes that saved my life, and I pleaded with them to help me take revenge.  Eventually they agreed.  I spent several months learning how to shoot miniature weapons.  And once I became a good shot they gave me a weapon that while small in size is great in power.  They said that it was "the noisy dragon" and was once wielded by The New Prince of Bel Lair.  I'm not sure who this New Prince is, or what Bel lair is, but he is surely now a mighty king to give-up such a powerful weapon.

And that brings my story to a close.  I have heard that the alliance wages war against the Shadowpine Trolls, and they are my enemy too.  I understand that my people have caused you great trouble, and I offer no defense of their actions.  But I do not wish harm upon anyone but those who have wronged me.  I wish to spend all of my hatred on those who destroyed my previous life.  I simply need a ride over to where they are... you see, I am quite tiny.  And at an all-out sprint it would take me several months to reach them.  So, all I ask is that you give me a ride.  I promise not to ever complain, and I eat very little.  So, what says you?

    Once there was a very curious murloc named Grunty.  He was always getting into trouble.  One day, as he played near his home in Elwynn Forest, he saw a mage practicing portal-making, and decided to investigate.  The mage not knowing anyone was about to use the portals, put six different portals in one place.  A dangerous thing to do indeed, had she but known it.  Poor Grunty had no idea that what he thought was a simple portal was actually something altogether different.  When the mage was distracted he crept towards it.  As he stepped into the portal there was a surge of energy, with a bang he was gone and air rushed to fill the void.  The mage looked around in surprise, forgetting the wolf she had just polymorphed into a turtle.  Seeing the strange energy still hanging in the air around her portals, she realized someone had gone through it.  She could only hope they had gotten someplace safe, and couldn't imagine what the effect of all the portals stacked like that would be.  Before she had too long to think about the stranger's plight, the wolf came at her again.  When she had finished it off, the portals were gone and she had forgotten all about it.

    Meanwhile, Grunty popped into being in a strange place he didn't recognize.  Was this the Outlands he had heard of? He wandered about and came across a sort of settlement.  He made his way towards it hoping it was Shattrath, the capital of that land.  Soon enough he realized that this was no place in his world, this was a military base nothing like he had ever seen or heard of.  Shouts rang out near the gates and before he knew it men came running forward and seized him.  

    They took him to a holding cell and questioned him again and again.  Eventually they decided he was telling the truth with the aid of some of their 'Ghosts', who's psi powers let them sift through his thoughts and see the truth for themselves.  They explained he was at Camp Juno on the planet Sonyan.  Now he was sure he wasn't anywhere near home.  With no way to get back and nowhere to go, he was conscripted into the Confederate Marine Corps. 

    They started him in training immediately, and soon he was presented with his very own marine armor and a C-14 Impaler gauss rifle.  Grunty saw alot of combat, much of the fighting was against other colonists over resources, but there were also enemies who were entirely alien including the Protoss and Zerg.  He did his job well, but was very homesick.  When he ended up on the same ship as Tychus Findlay, headed for Blizzcon, he knew this was his one chance to get home.  Not sure where to go from there he ended up lost and alone seeking refuge in the nearby woods.

    He sat pondering what to do next when he heard people approaching.  A miss-matched group of creatures stepped into the small clearing and he recognized them as natives of his own Azeroth!  He jumped up to greet the Goblins and Worgen, who stared at him.  When they realized he was a murloc from their own world they asked him what he was doing there all alone.  

    Grunty recounted all of his adventures for them and explained that he would like to go home.  The Goblins and Worgen both were astounded by all that had happened to the young murloc and were only too happy to offer assistance.  Grunty thanked them all but felt a certain kinship with the Worgen people since they too knew what it was like to be displaced from your own home and try to fit in, having been summoned from another dimension to this world themselves.  So Grunty and his new friends left for Azeroth together.  

    So far, Grunty is happy to be back in his home world.  He is spending some time being young, but he is also wiser now, and has a healthier sense of what dangers to look out for. He has spoken with the mages of the Kirin Tor and they are working to replicate the portal he took to that other realm.  Eventually he knows he will go back to his place in the marines, but for now he is needed here.  Some of his enemy Zerg seem to have followed him here and he has his hands full taking care of the threat.

    Perhaps you have seen him around?  Remember stay out of his way when he starts swinging his rifle!

The Story of Grunty

By:  Mythsmisery

There was a underworld city named Waleot.  Within the city was palaces made of marble and streets  lined with gems and jewels of all shapes and sizes.  There was fish to eat as well as other vegetation to fit any and every murlocs taste.  Outside of the underwater city Waleot there was a much different civilization a one without palaces one where murlocs had to find their own food and provide for themselves it was a small village named Cilos.  Cilos was the poorest part of Waleot Murlocs were dying of hunger and those that weren’t dying of hunger had to constantly worry how they were going to provide and if they were going to be attacked by things lurking in the woods.  Towards the back of the village was a small cabin not made of much but you could tell it was done with pride.  Inside of the cabin lived a female Murloc named “Nunty”.  Nunty was only 3 feet tall she had webbed feet and hands and worked very hard day in and day out to find food for herself and others in the village.  Being single Nunty was able to search and swim farther than other murlocs in the village because she didn’t have any responsibilities other than provide for herself.  Nunty knowing she needed food to survive ventured to the surface and into the woods looking for food.  Several days had passed and Nunty was unable to find food for herself she was growing hungry and had no money so again she left for the surface to search for food. 

When Nunty reached the surface she slowly pulled herself out of the water and was wandering the shore searching for food when she heard a faint noise, curious to what it was she decided to go and see for herself.  The more she walked the louder the noise got she soon realized it wasn’t just a noise it was singing and off in the distance she could see a faint light. Not wanting to be seen she got back into the water and moved slowly across the bottom she swam until the light was almost above her.  She slowly swam to the surface and she was amazed at what she saw.  A tiny man like herself laughing, drinking, fishing, and singing.  Nunty wanted a closer look so she crawled out of the water and into the bushes peering through the leaves at the tiny man who was fishing.  At first anger filled her because she was hungry and she saw him catching fish after fish and she knew he was messing up the food supply.  But her anger left and Nunty slowly crawled through the bushes to get a closer look at the little man.  The tiny man heard something in the bushes and said “Hello is anyone there”.  Nunty was so petrified she couldn’t move.  Again the little man said “Hello is anyone there”.  Nunty still couldn’t move her fear of being seen froze her.  The tiny man grabbed his light and walked closer and closer to the bush where she was hiding and he bent down and parted the leaves and gasped at what he saw next.  Startled and confused he reached into the bush and touched the murloc nunty on the arm and said “what are you?” “Who are you, Are you real? and where did you come from?”  Nunty trembling with fear didn’t know if she should answer the man or jump into the water and swim away.  So she said “I’m sorry please don’t hurt me” The little man replied “Don’t worry I won’t hurt you, you have my word”.  Slowly Nunty crawled out of the bush and stood up.  She said “greetings my name is Nunty and I am a Murloc”.  And the little man said “Hello Nunty my name is Grampt and I am a dwarf.  Grampt invited Nunty over to where his things were and asked her if she wanted something to eat.   Grampt was a small dwarf who learned the ways of blacksmithing and engineering from his father years ago.   The two of them ate fish together and began talking slowly growing closer together.    Day after day Nunty would venture to the surface to spend time with Grampt.  The more they talked the more their feelings for eachother grew.  The two of them wanted to be together forever but they knew they would never be accepted.  The two of them new if they wanted to have a life there was only one thing for them to do and that is run away. 

Nunty packed her things and said good bye to the Murlocs in her village.  And Grampt did the same saying goodbye to all of the dwarfs in his village taking nothing but his mining pick and Blacksmithing hammer.  Nunty and Grampt met at their normal spot and set off on a journey to make a life together.  They traveled for weeks until they decided on a place that was fit for them to settle down.  About a year after they had been together living alone Nunty told Grampt she was pregnant.  9 months later Nunty gave birth to a tiny child half murloc and half dwarf they couldn’t decide on a name for the child and since all he did was make a grunting noise they decided to call him GRUNTY.  Grunty’s father made him some armor and weapons and equipped him with the skills he needed to protect himself and grow up on his own.  The goblins and worgens both tried to take Grunty home but he was too much for them Grunty small stout frame and expertise to wield and tote weapons makes him a force to be reckon with.  There is no telling where you will see Grunty you might see him during the day or you might hear him at night….

Murloc Made Marine

The horrific truth is that millions of murloc eggs are harvested every year all across Azeroth. They are considered a delicacy to the rich and powerful and often times young adventurers are sent out to retrieve them. Since the vins of murlocs are also used in various "new age" remedies, the adult murlocs are usually slain in attempt to protect their fragile nests.

On one fateful day, a slew of undead noobs approached the vile fin murlocs on the northern coast of Tirisfal Glades. They began to slaughter the tribe without mercy in attempt to harvest scales and eggs. Though the oracles of the tribe cried out for an end to the massacre, their foes only mistook their sounds as nonsensical gargling.

The fight wore on, but only a few adult murlocs remained to protect their precious young. Knowing the fate of her family was at stake, a single mother murloc dove into the waters and scooped up her only surviving egg in her mouth. With all the strength she could muster, she ran towards freedom: a distant coast in Silverpine forest where another branch of her tribe lived.

One restless forsaken warlock chased after her, refusing to let any needed materials for his beloved Dark Lady go to waste. He cast his curses upon her, but it was not enough to slow the desperate mother. She made it past the border into Silverpine before finally collapsing from exhaustion.

She used every last ounce of life within her to protect the tiny egg inside her mouth while it hatched. Worgs howled in the distance as her little tadpole finally crawled from her mouth and out into the turbulent world of Azeroth. She smiled fondly at her son, but had no more energy left to guide him towards the coast where his cousins dwelled. She died then, from the excruciating curses that had been cast upon her.

Confused and mourning the loss of his mother, the young murloc wandered aimlessly through the treacherous Silverpine forest. As he stumbled down a long road, a short, green-skinned goblin discovered him. The goblin was a merchant and never missed an opportunity to make a few gold.

"I'd bet there's a whole market out there for little fellas like you!" the goblin exclaimed as he picked up the young murloc, intending to sell him into slavery or as a pet to some wayward adventurer.

Just then, a howl erupted through the air that shook the gnarled branches of the trees. Before the young murloc's very eyes, he witnessed a human transform into the menacing form of a worgen. The orphaned murloc found himself in the middle of a deadly skirmish. The endless war waged between the horde and the alliance sparked a battle even between two solitary foes passing on the road.

The brawl was over quickly as the goblin dropped the young murloc to the ground and used his rocket boots to flee from the scene. Cowering in fear, the young murloc peeked up between his fingers at the powerful worgen looming over him. In a wave of fog and light, the worgen transformed back into a man and picked up the poor little orphan.

"There, there," he said. "You're safe. Only a monster would harm a cute little guy like you."

The Worgen-man took the young murloc under his wing and returned to Gilneas. He had been trained in military tactics during the great struggle against the vicious attacks by the scourge and he imparted all his knowledge to his young companion. It was then that the little murloc, who had such an unfortunate beginning, found a family and was affectionately named 'Grunty'.

Grunty travelled far and wide across Azeroth with his Worgen savior. It was only when they ventured into the shattered Outlands that they became separated. Though full of spirit, Grunty was still a youth and prone to irresponsible behavior. While aiding his Worgen father-figure on a mission, Grunty fell asleep on one of the many drifting rocks floating on the outskirts of nagrand.

This floating rock drifted far beyond the reach of the Outlands and when Grunty awoke, he was surprised to see nothing familiar. Instead, a large spaceship named 'Hyperion' full of Terran marines was cruising very near his little rock. The ship itself seemed to be fleeing some location, though a swarm of its Zerg attackers still fought fiercely to bring it down.

Remembering all that he was taught, Grunty lifted the gun at his side and began shooting at the attackers in attempt to help those in the ship escape. Though his weapon was ineffecient against the strange Zerg creatures, the battle was soon won by the marines and their powerful guns. The spaceship opened its hatch and a marine named Raynor stepped upon Grunty's rock. He commended Grunty for his bravery and offered to take him aboard the 'Hyperion'.

From spare parts, Grunty's own marine suit and gun were fashioned so that he could learn to fight the Zerg and any other foe they came across. Soon he too was a fully trained marine. He had many encounters with the Zergs, in all of which he was the victor. He battled other Terrans alongside Raynor and his Raiders.

Though still of youthful joy, Grunty was a hardened fighter. It was not long before his sense of duty and a deep home-sickness led him back towards his home planet. The day he landed proudly upon Azeroth, Grunty vowed to protect it from any and all Zerg invasions. He's now fully equipped to deal with the menance and will fire without hesitation on any zergling he sees.

About grunty:

Grunty's origional home was in Azhara. When he was 3 months old, his mother and father were killed by a goblin seeking their eyes for a popular food amongst Azeroth known as westfall stew. Grunty was adopted by a paladin adventure highly praised amongst the alliance known as Cheiver. When Grunty became of age, Cheiver taught him how to fight and Grunty became his apprentice. Cheiver taught him the ways of the holy light. After about 2 weeks, Grunty became the first Murloc Paladin. When the call was sounded, Cheiver and Grunty ventured to the most modaine of locations to conquer evil. Cheiver's was begining to love Grunty as his own son. Cheiver never had any family to look up to; his parents were killed by the scorge when he was very young. Cheiver and Grunty's adventures were going smoothly untill the day came. Cheiver decided to take Grunty to Ulduar with him. They approached a mysterious portal. They took it, and Grunty was gone! How could it be? Cheiver was enraged. He Slaughtered a few iron dwarves and went home. The next day, he called up upon an infamious warlock summoner by the name of Wilfred Fizzlebang. He was known for summoning demon lords to reign terror amongst the weak. Summoning a murloc wouldn't be a problem. Cheiver aproached him, and payed him a 20 gold fee. Wilfred begain channeling the spell. When he finished, Grunty appeared. Only he looked unusual. He had a full set of armor and a gun. The power of the holy light abandoned him as well. Cheiver thanked Wilfred and went on his way. Grunty had a nasty habit of "playing" with his gun. He would shoot everything in sight. Other then that, everything else was the same. Cheiver and Grunty continued their adventures.

 Grunty The founding: The days were harsh and cold throgh space travel. The human on the radio said to wait untill you get to azertho on the orcs horde terrtory. I Dint know what the heck orcs were so i dint care un less they thoght i was food. I was swrling throgh space flying in the dark cold deep of space . I was knoked out head for azretho with no pilot! Boom!! I hit the crust of azertho as i felt pain going thorgh my body. What i saw was werid there was Green people with guns and bows. Fireing vanlity throght the mist The enmey i saw was people with fur and fangs. it looked like they wanted to eat me. then i realized that they did want to eat me! I hit the gorned Rebaribg noting else with a slight thud on the grond. When i awked up i saw Green people and fur guys with fangs every where dead but i saw who won at last. The Green Skins Waveing the horde battle flag in the night. I asked were i was and were the orcs were of orgramor To the goblin in the warlord suit of armor. He said were were at the cross road the barrens he said it would be a 10 hour trip untill i got there.As time passed i was there orgramor i ran to the valley of wisdom not careing about the others there. The warcheif thrall saw me and used the narture spirts to talk the me in my languade.I told him what the human on the ship sawed that i was going to be a pet for all who went to the blizzcon 2009. He sawed i was fin e unless you dint know how to fight. sow i asked the goblins of orgermor to make Tiny bolets and missel for my gun for i could defend my master and Freinds.And wenan 2009 blizzcon came i was given a happy home with a horde orc named fireballa we had fun most of the time we duled when we had arguements. and thats what really happend to me Grunty the space murloc.

grunty	4 up, 5 down
	get this def on a mug a adorable cow like creature; very cute cow!!! "wow look @ tat cute grunty!" "its ugly" "noooo its adorable!!!!!"

Nelson College headmaster Gary O'Shea says he isn't often consulted when it comes to the school's year 13 drama production – and perhaps that's just as well.

In the latest, schoolboys are learning the intricacies of how to kick heads in, swear, drink, play rugby and, somewhere in between all that, challenge some of the loftily held myths about New Zealand culture. So it's bound to be a popular show.

The play is the Kiwi classic Foreskin's Lament, and drama teacher Sharonne Stevens says it is being made R15 for the sake of young children – and, as much as she says it would be interesting to appear on TVNZ's Close Up, she has also taken out the nude scenes.

The drama follows the trials of a typical New Zealand club rugby team at the height of the 1981 Springbok tour, where politics and sport were meant to be separated; when masculinity ruled, and winning was everything at the end of the day.

Not that it's all just drinking and larrikinism.

Joe Hijazi, 17, who plays the team's coach, says he is actually a lot more responsible than his theatrical counterpart.

Tupper is the kind of coach who thinks that if the round thing on the ground looks like a ball and happens to have a bit of hair and a couple of ears on it, you should kick it anyway, just to be sure.

Josh McLaughlin, 17, plays the antagonist of the drama, and says he quite enjoys it.

At school, he might get into trouble for the antics he pulls on stage, but it could be at home where he cops the most flak.

His character, Clean, is an ex-police and ex-army hard man.

"He is a grunty sort of fella," says McLaughlin.

"But my dad's an ex-cop, so I have had a lifetime's worth of research."

McLaughlin's father doesn't know that he has helped to inspire his son's performance as one of the less tasteful characters in New Zealand drama, but come opening night, McLaughlin hopes he will see the similarities.

Caught between the ideas these two characters represent is Foreskin – the one who is in his own sort of world, the one who has left the insulated society of rugby, beer and aggression to educate himself on his own terms. As a result, he is a little alone.

Luke Collier, 17, likes the idea of being out on a limb looking back into New Zealand culture.

In real life, Collier plays hooker for the school's first XV, whereas Foreskin is a lonely fullback.

"It's cool just being a part of that with all the rugby but with all this other stuff going on. It's been interesting."

• Nelson College's Foreskin's Lament at the Suter Theatre this Thursday and Friday at 7pm. General admission $15, school students $10.

Well from an Swedish elder, female, players point is this what happened!(sorry for the gramma and spelling)

He did go with the worgens because the arent så gobbly! When he came to there homsted in the unexploated part of Kalimdor, just north of Aschenvale, she, yes you read right Grunty is a she. Her reel name isnt Grunty, it was her babylanguage that made it sounds lika that. Her namne is Griunthia! Hard to pronunce as you se.

Well in Griunthias new home she had to obay the roules in the family, that made her become booth quick and silence, and that even get her a lot of anger.
The most importan for her was that she just loved beautiful clothes. Her stepmother chanced her dresses to be i in sharp pink! Jus so other females should love her and se her. The hole world around them was dressed in warclothes and looked most as men, she thouht!

As hers best friend, her stepfather gave her a mount, so she could fly together with all the rasers that needed her help, to all countries that they could fly to. And she got strong, but sins she looked so girly and nice she fooled a lot of her enemies just tru her look! That made a hole lot of people to travel to her home, just to look.

The land she was raised in become a world of flowers jus like a paradis she heard of. That was in somthing that called Dragon Blight. She had always dreamed about that place. there was a big dragon and lot and lot of flowers. Thats why she plantet all these seeds in her land. It become a paradis for those men and women that collected flowes!
The buildings that her stepfater built on her wishes look like white casels with glimmering gold on top!
She missed the nice bit of the world and hated war, but if anyone theatned her. She emediatly went to atttac.

This is the true story of the goblin called "Grunty"

Bye from Jenyfear, lvl 80 warlock

One morning on Xylon Grunty was in mid attack with some Goblins, he was all alone for a moment then in come reinforcments
with amunition for grunty and a copple of minni nitro nukes.
he fired a copple of minni nitro nukes at the goblins and made a space time warpand it sucked up Grunty and he whent back in time to Azeroth.
When grunty woke up in a Murlock camp he checked what the date was, it was:21st August 2009.
"you ok little man?" said a primitive murlock. "yeah sure... uhh... where am I?" Grunt said very comfiused.
"ask the typer he'll know" said the primitive murlock realy stupidly.
"who's that?""uhh no-one Knows just say: Hey big man WHERE THE HECK AMI?: and he'll tell you"
"couldn't you just tell me you idiot!?" said Grunty angrily "uhhh ... ... ... yeah but then that would spoil the plot seriosly"
"WHAT!?" "i nkow i know stupid but still true" "ok ok i'll ask the typer (sigh)" sighed Grunty.
"HEY BIG MAN WHERE THE HECK AM I!?" "your near east vale logging camp...hey couldn't you just find your location on your map do-dingy?"
"oh yeah soz forgot a bout that:| sorry" "no probs man" i said. So then grunty looked on his mapping system to find exactley wher he was
And then a copple of humans came along and took a copple of pictures of the lonely murlock who they named Grunty (what a coincedence!)
because he could only grunt in thayre language *common* and then a copple of goblins came along but Grunty Shot them to Death.
the next day a bunch of worgens came and Grunty went with them because he liked thayre fur coats.

Arriving in Booty Bay, Grunty had a sudden pang of homesickness. After all, being surrounded by goblins was what growing up had been all about and while some were gruff, he knew underneath they were the biggest, hearted, kindest people he had ever encountered. Coming to this port town had been his adopted-father's idea to help him discover who he was and how he had come to be in the forest, abandon, all those years ago. It had never really bothered him much but his father was convinced there was a bigger story for him and wanted him to discover it. 

He shifted in his armor, proud of the perfectly fitted armor he had the joy of wearing. He knew many along the boardwalk eyed his prizes jealously but it was a rare thing indeed for someone to find the elusive gnome armorer, Gnarm. He had located him in a remote corner of what was left of Gnomeragan, hidden away from the leper gnomes and practicing his craft. Gnarm had never met a murloc as so many were reclusive and chose not to learn the common language. Gnarm had been impressed with Grunty's determination and obvious spirit and had taught him how to make the perfect armor for one his size. He had added gems he had gathered from mining in the hills and imbedded frost powder he had purchased in Stormwind. The result was a beautiful set of blue armor that was stronger than any metal seen elsewhere, yet light enough Grunty didn't lose any of his agility and ability to jump and swim. 

It was Gnarm who had recommended he visit the murlocs in Elwyn Forest to see if they had any keys to his past. He had gone to the river's edge and found the murlocs, but it was apparent they were not interested in strangers. The most he could get out of them was to talk to the murlocs in Redridge as they were more used to the "others" as they called them. Grunty had begrudgingly set off for Redridge only to find the creatures on the way not very hospitable. He battled through spiders, worgs and orcs to finally reached Lakeshire.  

At the Lakeshire Inn, he was not surprised at the stares and whispers as he walked by. I should be used to this, he thought wryly but he had never gotten used to it. To be fair, he had never encountered another murloc willing to associate with the other creatures of the world so he understood intellectually their surprise. When he heard the word "gun" he had to chuckle. If they only knew what he had gone through to get that gun!

Thinking back, he reminisced about the gun. He had met an unfriendly night elf named Cauchy. Cauchy had taken offense to everything – Grunty, the way he talked, the way he pronounced the elf’s name as “Couchy” instead of “Coeshy”, everything. Finally, the elf’s friend, Gnuck had arrived. As a gnome, Gnuck was more Grunty’s size and after looking him in the eye for a long time, he had a sternly-whispered conversation with Cauchy. The two friends were headed out on a suicide mission, said Gnuck and he laughed a big Gnomish laugh at the end. They could use all the help they could get – was Grunty interested? Never one to miss an adventure but unsure what this one would entail, he bought Gnuck a drink and always one for a tale, Gnuck sat and shared their story.

Cauchy and Gnuck had met many years earlier as they were both seeking their fortunes in the world. Having recently left home, Gnuck wasn’t very worldly and truthfully, got lost more than he didn’t. Cauchy was more familiar with the world, but tended, as most elves, to become so single-minded he would lose sight of those things around him. Together, along with Gnuck’s demon, Thoroon and Cauchy’s pig, Babe, they had been all over the world earning gold, saving the odd person here and there and generally helping the different communities they came across. Finally Cauchy put an end to the story-telling and said it was time to be off. Grunty liked Gnuck so well, and thought he could get to know Cauchy, that he joined them. For the next several years they took on quests all over Azeroth and Northrend for the various people who would pay. Gnuck was an alchemist and able to make wonderful potions as well as knew herb lore inside and out. Cauchy had an extensive knowledge of the world and all the creatures in it. They both had a number of friends they would periodically enlist to help with difficult quests and Grunty learned a great deal of acceptance and enjoyed the camaraderie. But his father’s words always haunted him and after securing the safety of Goldshire from an attack of the Headless Horseman, Grunty felt like he had seen it all.  

Grunty had told Gnuck and Cauchy about his quest to find out who he was and where he came from and Gnuck thought that Booty Bay, with its port access and assorted characters would have the best chance of answers for him. The friends said goodbye for now, knowing that some day they would regroup and head out into the world together. As a parting gift, Gnuck gave him a pack of potions to help him stay safe and healthy. But it was Cauchy that surprised him the most. Cauchy approached him with a gun to match his own. The only problem was it was made for a 6 ft. tall elf rather than his diminutive frame. With a twinkle in his eye, Cauchy poured some sort of spice on the gun and it became exactly the right size for Grunty. Cauchy said it was “baby spice” as he patted him on the back and returned to his mount. He now had the perfect weapon.

Now, standing in Booty Bay, he wasn’t sure just exactly what he was suppose to do. He wandered into the local Inn as that was always a good place for information. He had never seen some of the races he found in the Inn but no matter. Unfortunately, some of the patrons didn’t take too kindly to a murloc sitting among them and he left rather quickly. His next stop was to find Baron Revilgaz, the de facto ruler of Booty Bay. He hoped he could call on his goblin upbringing to convince the Baron to help him. Upon finding the Baron, Grunty realized he had no idea where to begin so he began but the good Baron immediately said, “whatta want?”. Grunty explained he was the son of Kizzie and Zabrink Rak and was looking for information about his past. With a glint in his eye, the Baron said “Kizzie?”. And suddenly looked to be somewhere else in time. The Baron invited Grunty down to have a drink and the two discussed Grunty’s parents. It seems the Baron was well-acquainted with Grunty’s mother. After many, many stories and an equal number of drinks, the Baron finally got around to Grunty’s problem. 

After some serious consideration, the Baron called over a large Tauren from the shadows. Grunty was used to being the smallest one in the room and often used his size as an advantage but this bull was so large, even he was surprised. The two whispered and the bull was obviously not happy with what the Baron was saying. Unruffled by the tauren’s objections, the Baron finally sent him on his errand. He then ordered some lunch for both of them and continued to talk about Grunty’s adventures, his own youth, and more. Just about the time Grunty was getting uncomfortable, the tauren returned with a large folded piece of paper. He handed it to the Baron, looking very unhappy and stalked off.

The Baron handed the paper to Grunty and he opened it immediately. There, was an entire map of a land he had never heard of, Mars Sera. As he continued to unfold the map, several documents fell to the table. He set the map down and read about the Terrans journeying to Mars Sera after they were attacked. As he read, he learned of a group of murlocs that had escaped to Mars Sera many years ago from Azeroth. He would need to journey Northrend and find the Winterfin tribe led by King Mrgl-Mrgl. After thanking the Baron and promising to send his love to his mother, Grunty headed out. He was able to use his hearth stone to return to Dalaran and from there, catch a flight to Borean Tundra.  

Arriving at the Winterfin village, Grunty immediately set out to find the King. He was shocked to discover the King was not a murloc at all – but rather a night elf! The king was very willing to talk to him and filled him in on the history of the Winterfin tribe. Currently, they were battling with a strange force that had arrived after the earthquake and had been stealing the murloc children. Grunty felt compelled to help the children. He left his armor in a secure location, and went into the cave. He followed the path given to him by the king but something called to him to go a different direction. He followed a smaller and smaller path through the cave until he finally came to a dead end. As he looked at the solid rock walls, he saw something sparkle down by his toe. As he reached for it, a portal opened in the wall – it was a way to Mars Sera! Feeling confident this was his destiny, Grunty ran back through the cave to retrieve his weapon and armor.  

Once armed and ready, Grunty had to get back through the cave without alerting the guards. He tried to sneak his way through but the guards were able to see him and recognized him as something “other”. They attacked and Grunty fought for his life to reach the portal again. Finally, he was able to get to the portal and as he looked through it, he saw other murlocs. He jumped into it ready to find his family and his destiny.

Goblin merchants always do well because they understand the first rule of sales, which is this: I have goods for sale and the customer has gold.  I want the gold and, unfortunately, that means the customer will get my goods.  I will make a sale by any means possible, because without the sale I will not have the gold.  Without the gold I am nothing.

Framz lived by this rule because of his love for gold.  He ventured far afield from the mountain area of Azshara and traveled the most out-of-the way paths, including the dangerous areas of Silverpine and Darkshire, because of this need-this desire-for gold.  All goblins live for the love of something-whether it be crafted items, sea-faring, or carefully enacted violence-and chose their professions accordingly.  Framz loved gold-the gleam and the glitter and the feel of it-and so became a traveling merchant in order to collect as much as possible.

Framz did not like his customers-a curse many merchants suffer after dealing with the frustration of the general public for years.  Most of them were indecisive and used too much of his valuable time to make a purchase or sell an item, and then ended up changing their minds.  In his opinion-shared openly and often in taverns in towns run by the Steamwheedle Cartel-the "buy-back" law passed and enforced throughout the entire realm would bring an end to capitalism itself.  Why allow a fool who parted with something for way too low a price the opportunity to correct the error? 

Framz also prided himself on being a good judge of customers, and he did not like the looks of the new one standing before him.  Oh, he was a small murloc and looked harmless, but something deep down in Framz's psyche sounded an alarm.  He glanced at his traveling companion, Ripzz, a bruiser hired to be his bodyguard, a felt a little better.  Ripzz had outfitted himself with even more weapons and armor than usual due to the increased frequency of feral worgen attacks along these paths in Silverpine, and the extra firepower boosted Framz's confidence.

"What's up?" His traditional greeting did not elicit much of a response.  Framz sighed and reached into his backpack, pulling out a small device.  He fitted it over his left ear, angling it so that the small protrusion rested near his mouth.  He repeated the greeting as the device translated his words, and then waited for the murloc's response.

"Greetings, green-skinned one.  I am Grunty.  I want to buy dese."  The small murloc extended his hand.  Tiny bullets gleamed silver against his skin.

Framz grunted, impressed by the size of the bullets.  "These are specialty-made.  I don't stock anything that small.  But I think I can help you."  After all, the first rule of sales dictates that you never turn the customer away.  Gold is gold-and you get it by any means possible, even if you have to get it through a paid-referral for a family member.  "My sister, Dinty, is a Grand-Master Engineer.  She has a shop in Azshara, in the north-west section. Please let her know that I sent you."

"Dank you, green-skinned person." The murloc turned and marched away, heading toward Azshara.

"Glad I could help!" Both Framz and Ripzz watched until the murloc disappeared from sight, then they continued their travels.  Framz felt relieved, as if he had escaped from a great, unknown danger, and wondered-just briefly-if sending the murloc to his unsuspecting sister would be worth the small amount of gold he would earn from the referral.  He dismissed the thought immediately.  Gold is gold, after all.

"I may be getting too old for this," he thought.  "It might be time to purchase as shop.  There are a few vacant now in Booty Bay. I could probably get one for almost nothing.  Have a few more security personnel around with the city bruisers for back-up."

When they stumbled across a feral pack of worgen around the next bend, each shot with pin-point precision through the heart by a very small bullet, Framz was even more convinced that buying a shop and being surrounded by armed guards would be the best idea of all.

*

It was the smell that got to her.  It lingered at the site of each massacre, acrid as acid:  Gunshot residue from a weapon she had never before encountered.

Captain Lycaon sighed and closed her eyes, trying to focus on her sense of smell.  It would have been easier if she changed form-the wolf's senses could identify and track any scent-but the change brought its own problems.  With everything she gained in strength, agility, and perception, she lost an equal amount of intellect, purpose, and self-control. Remaining human was the better choice for the moment.

Lycaon opened her eyes and glanced at her companions, Corporal Grendelson and a dwarf hunter named Trueshot.  Grendelson, a young worgen, obviously thought he looked more attractive in his brass-studded leather bracers than was, in fact, the case.  The hunter she had more trouble figuring out.  It was true that he reported finding the bodies and led them to the scene, but she could still not determine what he had to gain.  She could tell from the smells and tracks at the scene that he didn't have anything to do with the dead worgen in front of her.  Still, the shooter had been very short . . .

"Looks like a typical feral attack gone wrong" Corporal Grendelson declared, breaking Lycaon's train of thought.  "What do you think, Captain?"

"This is anything but typical, Corporal.  Look at the scene and tell me what you see."

"Begging your pardon, Ma'm, but it looks like some of our citizens left the city to form a feral pack and indulge their, um, baser natures." He started to blush. "They stayed near the roads, probably hoping to prey on unsuspecting travelers.  And it also looks like they ran into someone tougher than them."

"Look at the bodies, Corporal.  Shot with one bullet straight through the heart.  Now look closer.  What do you see?"

"Ma'm?"

"Whoever killed them didn't loot the bodies! Where in this realm do you find someone who doesn't take whatever they can grab from a body?  Good heavens, Corporal, I have seen some people skin the corpses to make leather.  And the person who killed this pack, and all of the others, didn't even take their gold."

The Corporal scratched his head.  "But we can't arrest him for that.  We can't even arrest him for killing these citizens.  They left the city, left our protection, and went feral to hunt other races. I am sure it was kill or be killed."

Lycaon glanced at the hunter, who grinned at her.  "He's sure."  She gave a small, ironic laugh.  "You are probably right, Corporal, although there is no evidence to prove it.  Still, it is getting late and we should head back."

"Do you think we will make it to Gilneas by tonight?"

"No-it's getting late. We will stop at Pyrewood Village." Lycaon nodded at Trueshot.  "You are welcome to be our guest at the inn. This is the least we can do for your service to our people."

"Much obliged."   He reached over to give his pet, a timber wolf, a pat on the head. "I'm sure they are used to stabling wolves there."

Lycaon gave him a rather frosty nod and they started walking. 

"What about our report, Captain?  Should we mail it from Pyrewood?"

"That would be protocol, although I still don't trust the mailboxes.  Mail 'magically' delivered in one hour or less.  Never lost or misplaced.  As if mages didn't have anything better to do.  Still, it's better than the old system."

"Old system?"

"In the old days you had to give a letter to a passing Explorer's League dwarf and hope the drunken sot didn't feed it to his goat before . . ." Her voice trailed off.

"Uh, sorry. Didn't mean to offend."

"I'm not offended," said Trueshot cheerfully.

"It's not that I have anything against dwarves.  I have always thought they were hard working, highly skilled . . ."

"Drunken sots?

"Yes. No!"

They continued on down the road at a brisk pace.  Trueshot started singing a rather bawdy song that caused Grendelson to blush again.

"I am getting too old for this," Lycaon thought.

*

 "Look out!"

Grunty ducked.

Something like a small ball with wings clicked and whirred over his head, circled him once erratically, and then flew apart in a dozen jerking parts.  He picked up the nearest one to examine-a small, broken cog that seemed to be glowing-and dropped it immediately, blowing on his fingers to try to cool them faster.

"Oh, dear.  Back to the drawing parchment." A small green goblin emerged from behind the over-turned table where she had been taking shelter.  She was shorter than the other goblins he had encountered, and had red hair pulled back into a pony tail instead of a bald head, but Grunty thought he could see a family resemblance to the traveling merchant.

"What's dat?"

"I don't have a name quite yet.  Right now I'm calling it an Unidentified Flying Object."  She started brushing off her overalls, creating a small cloud of dust.  "It works with a series of cogs wound-up like clockwork to turn the motor-but not very well.  Maybe if I changed the shape . . . made it flat like a . . .dish . . . or saucer."

She shook her head, and seemed to focus on the visitor to her shop for the first time.  "Talk to me.  Time is money, friend."  She tapped the small device in her ear.  "Don't worry.  I can understand any language with this.  And it will translate my words for you."

"I have seen dat before.  A traveling merchant had one.  He sent me to dis area to find his sister, Dinty, a Grand Master Engineer."

"That would be Framz, my brother.  He sent you to me?  Drat-that means I own him a referral fee."

"Yes.  He said I would need you to make dat." Grunty held out his hand.  A small, silver bullet gleamed against his skin.

Dinty's eyes open wide.  "That is beautiful!"

Grunty stared at her, simply blinking.  He didn't know what to say.  He had never heard of ammunition described as beautiful before.  Oh, it was certainly useful, and it made his life easier; in fact, it often saved his life.  But beautiful?  This was a way of thinking that he couldn't quite grasp.

"I could reverse engineer it for you.  Take one apart and see what makes it tick." Her hands were shaking slightly with anticipation as she took the bullet from him.  "Please have a seat.  This may take awhile."

Grunty moved hesitantly toward a corner of the shop.  Papers and books covered the only chair and he looked for a clear place to move them.  Bottles filled with different covered liquids and boxes filled with strangely-shaped metal parts covered most of the flat surfaces.  Finally he stacked them neatly in a pile on the floor under the chair and sat down.

"I think we can make a trade.  I will learn how to make these and, in turn, I can construct some for you.  Say ten stacks of one-thousand?"

"Dat is a deal."  He watched her set to work with a grinding stone on the bullet, and then take a pinch of the power and place it in a beaker filled with a purple-colored liquid.  She placed it over an open flame, and it began almost immediately to overflow.  The liquid hit the work bench and started dissolving the wood.

"Where did you get these from?" Dinty asked as she mopped up the excess.

"I am a marine.  Dat is standard issue ammunition."

"Oh, is that one of the Northrend murloc tribes?  I can never keep up with that sort of thing."

"I not heard of Northrend."

"Get real!  It's where they moved Dalaran-the city of mages? My cousins works on a zeppelin that runs a transport from Orgrimmar to Borean Tundra in Northrend. It's a long trip, but he enjoys the travel."

"Are dose mages important people?"

"Sure are-at least in their minds." She laughed at this. "They do a lot of the other types of transports. They make portals-sort of circles of blue light that you can step through--for even faster transport between really distant places.  They run the mail system as well. I use it when I need to deliver goods quickly." 

"Are any of dose mages closer to here?  Powerful ones dat can transport a long way?"

"There is a mage on Theramore Isle--Jaina Proudmoore-who could, but I wouldn't go there.  She's Alliance." Dinty almost spat the word.  "The guards there would probably kill you on sight.  They don't trust strangers."

"Many danks, Dinty person.  I will go to Dalaran next. Perhaps dere is a mage person powerful enough who can make a portal to my home."

"Mmmhmmm." Grunty could tell she wasn't really listening anymore.  She had mixed several types of metal ore in a bin and was holding it over the fire.

"What's dat?"

"Hmm?  Oh, I'm smelting the casings for the bullets.  As soon as they are cool I will fill them with the gunpowder and you will be good to go."

Grunty watched while she scurried about the shop, assembling the ammunition.  After a few more minutes she grabbed a small ammo pouch from a high shelf, dusted it off, and filled it with the tiny silver bullets.  She handed it to him.

"Nice doing business with you!"

"Good-bye, Dinty person."  Grunty headed out of the shop and stared off toward the horizon.  From the way she described it, he knew he was in for a long journey.  He tied his new ammo pouch to his belt.  At least he wouldn't run out of ammunition for a good long while.  Maybe he would even have enough till he made it to the mage-city of Dalaran.  And there, perhaps, he would find someone who could help him reach his home.

"Dat's a lot of 'maybe' and 'perhaps'" the space marine sighed.  "But it's my only hope.  Better get a move-on." He started walking at a brisk pace.  "I'm not getting any younger, after all."

In 2004 with Blizzard's server problems they replaced all the hamsters with murlocs, as the run much faster. Only over time Blizzard finds that they don't have enough sense to stop when exhausted they have to keep going back to Azeroth to grab more murlocs. This causes a small problem as a few escape into Irvine every year. Usually within weeks they are caught and tossed into the servers, but Blizzard needed a good cover story of why the servers go wonky and murloc's are running around Irvine, CA. So they started a convention to explain that the murlocs were only kids in costumes and that servers were getting overloaded because of the convention.

Fast forward to Blizzcon 2009, due to the extra servers needed to broadcast the event more murlocs have to gather during the anual murloc harvest. This results in nets being used. IN the choas of stuffing murlocs into the new servers a few sneak away to the woods around annaheim. Grunty's mom is recaptured but no one notices the young murloc at first. Blizzard's PR department says no we can't have this news get out, find someone that won't be noticed to go find him. A couple Worgen and some goblins are sent out.

Unfortunly for Blizzard's stressed out PR guys, Worgen are very good at finding small childred but to eat not to care for.

Maggy G0bs and Ehm G0Bs are bonucing along looking at butterlies and other random things that have nothing to do with murlocs, when they see a small murloc being chased by a salverying hungry Worgen, being small themselves and not liking situation.

Clearly not knowing what to do with a small child it screamed at it and chased it all over the woods. Maggy G0bs sees that the simple thing to do is to give it a gun and let it even the playing field gob style.

Grunty seeing small green people like him, takes the offered gob gun and shoots the scary wolf. The worgen tired and hungry from chased down the lost murloc, howls in frustration at this last indignation as he falls over sideways and passes out.

Maggy G0bs decides to keep him as a pet forgetting all about returning him to Blizzard. They take the goblin teleporter home.

Grunty is raised by the Gobs and never realizes he is not a goblin. He oldest memory is of some gear he borrowed from some where. Growing up with goblin weapons he always had something that went boom, though more often resulting in a black face rather than the target breaking. Using his goblin teleportation device found him in some rather stange places.

One of these hops left him in a desolate battlefield where a strange machine came up to him and asked him, "Son do you want to see stange lands and kill stranger people?"
To grunty this sounded like what he was doing anyway so he said yes.

The stange shiny machine said, "Son that is Sir, Yes, Sir!", I'll make a man of you yet!

Grunty thinking over the goblins people changers is not sure he wants to be a man instead of goblin, is dragged off to the Space Marine Camp while he is thinking about it.

He is forced through crazy rituals that don't make any sense, walking around in silly circles, shouting mystical words that are supposed to turn one's self into a grunt, and what ever happened to being made into a man?

Grunty is issued a very shiny new gun, though every time he calls it gun they make him walk around in circles grabbing himself and shouting this is my rifle this is my gun this one is for shooting this one is for fun, which makes no sense to him, since he has fun shooting things. Plus this gun does not blow up every other shot. Finally after mind boggling weeks of trainging he graduates as an honorary Space Marine and sent out to deal with the second zerg invasion of star craft 2.

Grunty and the God Factory

PDF: http://islesofscion.net/GruntyandtheGodFactory.pdf

For some reason I can't post the story even in snippets. It keeps saying less than or equal to 20k characters when each time I AM doing less than that.

All "Grunty" is, is Chuck Norris'. Why you say, well he is undercover trying to find Bruce Lee. Plain and simple. And straight to the point.

The Story of Grunty

  Grunty grew up in a small village on the coast of Hillsbard Foothills.  He was a small murloc and still very young when he developed a rare disease.  This disease prevented him from going into the water like all normal murlocs do.  Because of this, he was poked fun at and his parents were chastised for having such an abomination.  At first Grunty would do chores that other murlocs didn't want to do, like going far into the woods to gather wood and herbs.  One day Grunty was in the woods foraging for supplies when in the distance he saw the murloc hunting party torturing a small bear cub.  He was disgusted that they would be so mean to a creature so small like himself.  Deciding to help out the creature, Grunty picked up some small rocks and started throwing them at his Murloc kin.  One murloc crept away during this and circled around behind Grunty, then with a sudden crash, a big hammer fell upon Grunty's head and he was knocked out.  After a long discussion, the murloc elders informed the parents that Grunty had performed the most dis-honorable act of interferring with a hunting party and that he would be put to death in two days.

  Grunty's father, Grobach convinced that they would have to flee in order to keep there son alive decided to sneak the family out in the middle of the night and travel to a distant murloc tribe at The Shining Strand in Silverpine Forest.  Along the way Grobach encounter several menacing creatures and defended them off each time getting weaker.  After countless days and nights of struggles the family was getting close to their destination.  A group of undead attacked the camp and in an effort to defend the family, Grobach was mortally slain as he chopped down the last of them.  Grunty's mother made camp that night and as Grunty slept, she looked at her dead husbands corpse and then walked off to her homeland abandoning poor Grunty.

  Grunty heard sounds around him and woke up.  To his astonished eyes he saw all types of creatures he never seen before.  There was a skinny pink fleshy creature, a creature that boneless one that resembled the pink one, a big wolflike creature and a little green creature with a big head.  They all spoke in a language he didn't understand but it seemed to him they were arguing about something, probably who was going to eat him.  Abruptly the pink one pulled out his axe and attacked the bone one.  The bone one dodged the attack and pulled out a stick waved it in the air once and a big explosion took place.  Both the pink one and the bone one dropped to the ground writhing in agony and then died.  The wolf creature roared saliva dripping from his maw and glared at Grunty.  The little green creature stepped in front of Grunty and pointed saying something.  Instantly Grunty and the little green creature were transported somewhere unkown to Grunty.

  For months Grunty lived with this goblin and learned the language, he found out the goblin's name was Wheeler so started calling him Papa Wheeler.  Papa Wheeler was an etremely talented engineer and made all sorts of devices including the one that telported them away that fateful day.  He told Grunty of his hopes to one day reach the stars and explore distant planets.  Grunty was intrigued by the notion that life existed on other worlds followed in Papa's footsteps.  Grunty experimented all the time looking for new ways to help Papa out.  Grunty matured fast after this and would venture out into this great area that was called the Netherstorm. In his little town they called Area 52, Papa and others were trying to build a srocketship so that they could one day travel there.

  One day a group of adventures came thru town and Grunty eyed them tightly.  He saw another bone creature with a white glowing staff was called an Undead, the big stocky green creature clad in plate was called an Orc, the big bullheaded creature dressed in robes was called a Tauren, the wirey blueish creature with a bow was a Troll, and a skinny pink creature with huge ears was a Bloodelf.  They were out doing all sorts of chores for the inhabitants of the town so that they could raise money for something.  One of these so called quests got the materials needed to complete the rocket. 

Grunty said "I want to be the first person to go up in the rocket Papa!"

But Papa shook his finger replying "It is way to dangerous, space is unkown to us, even if we can make it that far, there might be menacing creatures wishing to kill us."

Grunty frowned but "Papa I wanna go, please!!!!"

Papa nodded "I know Grunty but you don't have the proper training to defend yourself.  Its partly my fault in only training you in my profession."

Grunty replied "So if I train really hard and learn how to use a sword or gun or something I can go"

Papa smiled "Yes Grunty if you can prove that you can defend yourself with any weapon of your choice then I will let you go in the rocketship"

  The adventurers continued to return to the town every few days accepting new dangerous mission, and Grunty decided he would follow them out and watch them to learn exactly how to attack creatures and defend himself.  He would practice every day performing the same moves the group did although he had no feirce opponent to defend against.  One day he followed them out and they were searching for this rare creature that was causing problems called Ever-core the Punisher.  Grunty watched from over the hill as the group attacked this creature.  The group wre getting hurt badly and the troll fell to his death.  No one noticed that Grunty was even there...both the group and the creature were too involved in the fight.  Grunty decided that now was the time to act and see if he could but his new skill to work.  He ran down the hill grabbing the gun from the dead trolls lifeless grasp and aimed it at the head of Ever-core.  Ever-core knocked back the group with a big slash of his rock hard arm.  Grunty fired the gun, kaboom!!!!!  Grunty was knocked on his back but quickly recovered, looking around he saw the Ever-core creature standing motionless with a gapping whole thru its head.  The party smiled at Grunty and started cheering him.

The orc named Kratus said "Good job small one,  I wish our troll friend here could have had the accuracy you did.  Alas his own inability with guns was his mis-doing"

Kratus reached inside the Ever-core creature and pulled out something storing it in his backpack.

Grunty happy that he had made a new friend asked "Can I come with you and learn how to defened myself and fight creatures like you do?"

Kratus replied laughing "Well I don't see why not considering we have an opening now, so long as you follow orders"

Grunty perplexed asked "Orders?"

Kratus replied "Yes orders,  I am the leader of this group, I make sure the creatures focus their efforts on me as often as I can so the others can bring them down.   I tell you when to attack or not, I don't want someone in my group that is just gonna rush and attack everything.  We scope out the targets and try to find weakness and all before we just attack them, each creature has different abilities, once you learn them you will know what to expect"

Grunty smiled "I can do that, are there any other rules I should know about?"

Kratus nodded "Yes quiet a few.  but first let me introduce the group, the undead there is Toby he's our healer...if you get hurt in battle he will heal your wounds so you can keep fighting.  Then there is our tauren druid Bartholobull..."

Grunty quickly interrupted "What is a druid?"

Kratus laughed "That's a loaded question...a druid....hmmm....well damn it Bart show him!"

Bartholobull quickly transformed into a ferocious bear and Grunty jumped back grasping his chest in awe.  "Wow, that is so cool"

"Wait, there is more" said Bartholobull as he tranformed into a big cat.

Grunty was amazed "Is there other forms also"

Bartholobull answered "Of course small one, if I am swimming I can turn into a seal so I don't need to breath water and can swim real fast.  Then I can turn into a cheetah so I can run real fast, and of course...." Bartholobull changes form one more time into a Huge Owl-like form

Grunty shocked said "Wow whats that form do? allow you to fly?

Bartholobull answered "No, but now that I think about it I have a form for that also...this form allows me to do very potent nature magic, you can here the sounds of nature crack open creating a big blast, its so loud some call it my form a boomkin"

Grunty was speechless.

  Kratus waited a few seconds and said "And the last of our group in Zold, our mage...he can do some things like making food and water, shooting fireballs at creatures, opening portals to different towns and all sorts of neat stuff!"

Grunty felt awkward, all these others had so much they could do and he just fired a gun once.  He would definitately have to practice long and hard to help the group out.

"Don't fret little one Zold can open up a portal and you can train fast at getting better with that weapon.  Do it Zold!" shouted Kratus

Zold took a minute and waved his wand around in the air and a cloud formed showing a distant city.

"Now in you go!" stated Kratus as he pushed Grunty thru the portal.

  It took a minute for Grunty to adjust but when he recovered he saw he was magically in a different town.  Kratus brought Grunty over to very acrobatic troll and informed his that he was to teach Grunty everything he can about being a hunter.  Kratus said he would return in a months time to retrieve the little murloc.  Grunty spent the time perfecting his shots, he learned how to tame wild beasts, he tried on verious different types of armor and had the agility of a jumping spider.  When the month was finally up, the troll awarded Grunty with a special certificate allowing him to name his pet whatever he wanted.  Grunty was so pleased with himself that when Kratus returned for him he had to show off his moves.  Kratus was impressed how much Grunty learned in the month he was gone.

"Now its time to return to Netherstorm,  we have some serious business to attend to and I think it will interest you in coming" said Kratus

Grunty replied "What type of business are you talking about Kratus?"

"Spaceships!" Kratus returned.

Grunty shocked said "Real spaceships???"

"Yes we found out the names of only a few, Botanica, Mechanar, Arcatraz, but there are others we don't know the names of as we have yet to figure out a way to enter those" responded Kratus

An undead approached "Are we almost ready Kratus?"

"Oh forgive my rudeless, Grunty meet Piros, our new mage, and vice-versa..."

"What happend to Zold?" asked Grunty.

"He did not survive and encounter with the Alliance rogue who backstabbed him when he was eatting"

Sady Grunty said "What's Alliance?"

"The Alliance were the ones that wanted to eat you in the forest that night Papa saved you, they are mean spirited people who enslave the Horde and constantly provoke us into wars, be careful that they never sneak up on you as they did Zold, they enjoy making soup from murloc eyeballs"

"Gross, that's disgusting!" said Grunty

"anyways let us depart this fair city and return to our mission of these spaceships" Kratus replied.

  Piros opened a portal and they all stepped thru to join their companions on the other side.  After discussing their strategy and getting a good night sleep, the group set out for Cosmowrench where they would make preparations for their flight to the floating spaceships.  The party all mounted on various types of flying creatures but Grunty had none, so Kratus picked him up and carried him along for the ride.  They landed on the spaceships platform and entered the archway that would give them access to the ship.  Grunty couldn't wait to enter a real spaceship and explore, but Kratus warned him of the dangers.  They looked won from the entrance and could see several bloodelves fighting creatures, and they decided to help the bloodelves destroy them.  The bloodelves immediately attacked the group and things got chaotic, the group was now surronded by both bloodelves and these strange creatures and more kept pooring thru the hallway at them.  Toby went down first as one of the creatures sprang at his chest and started sucking the blood right out of him.  Kratus called for a retreat but the group was split up in different areas.  Most of the group managed to escape leaving only the druid Bartholobull and Grunty. 

Bartholobull yelled "Play dead and I'll get the creatures off you....we will come back for you I swear!"

Grunty obeyed, grasping his chest and falling to the ground like he got hit by something and died.

  Bartholobull raised his arms in the air chanting weird sounds and suddenly a hurricane opened up destroying most of the creatures and elves.  Only a few bloodeves remain and one shot Bartholobull with a shiny arrow.  It struck with such impact that Bartholobull's spell was interrupted and he started grasping for his throat.  Bartholobull tried to speak something to Grunty but no words came out, he ran to the exit as fast as he could and just managed to get out the door before being shot again.

  Grunty continued to play dead.  The creatures and the bloodeves continue to fight and ignored him.  After awhile the creatures retreated and the bloodelves took up defensive stances out of sight from the hallway leading deeper into the ship.  Grunty slowly rose to his feat and crept thru the ship avoiding every creature he saw in the distance.  He then entered a room where there was only one exit and he could here sounds of creatures coming from the way he came. Quickly Grunty scanned the room looking for any place he could hide, and he found a hatchway to a lower level.  Grunty opened the hatchway and climbed down the ladder to a new level.

  Grunty explored this area of the ship quickly and came to a room with a big circular door and a big freezer.  He cautiously opened the locked and found a dead creature wearing a blue suit and a very sophisticate gun.  Grunty quickly put on the suit thinking he could blend in if anyone came into the room and grabbed the new gun.  No one entered and Grunty was feeling ashamed for stealing the suit but he had to escape somehow.  He then looked at the door and opened it.  It was a airlock to a small recon fighter spaceship, he entered quickly and shut the door.

  Grunty was excited, here he was fulfilling his dreams of being in a spaceship and possibly going to different worlds.  He got in the pilot seat and looked over the controls.  He pressed the big blue button that was flashing on the control panel and was instantly propelled into space.  Grunty examined the controls typed in something and random and pressed the button again.  The recon fighter ship changed its course and begun its space travel to its destination.....

....to be continued....

The Story of Grunty

Grunty the Murloc lived in the year 2635. Grunty was going to be drafted into the Marine rank of the Galactic Army of the King of all of Galdaria. The King was an elderly honored Tauren named Cohembria. Grunty had lived there all his life and today was going to be a life-changing experience for him because he was selected to be the first murloc to test the Battle Suit 3000. The Battle Suit 3000 was going to be the basic battle suit for the Murloc Special Corps team(MSC for short). 

The idea of expanding the Galdaric army to the MSC was to be able to execute missions subtly so the enemy would never see it coming. Murlocs are obviously very small, so it took the best gnome and goblin engineers to create equipment that was small enough and fully functional for them to use. The Battle Suit 3000 comes fully equipped with an interlingual input and output translator, and a fully functional Rifle that shoots mini 50 caliber rounds, mini folding hooks around the wrists and ankles so the wearer can scale walls of any height, a breathing apparatus in case the mission must be carried out above or below the breathable temperature of oxygen, and artificial Gills, which allow breath while submerged without ever running out of oxygen. The Gills also act like our present day gas masks and can filter the oxygen out of any substance, if there is oxygen in the given substance. The other major thing that the suit can do is utilize one of the newest designs that the engineers had come up with called XtremeSuit. The idea of XtremeSuit was to advance your muscles to cancel the weight of the suit, making it so you can still move and run at a regular pace.  That was about all the engineers could fit into such a small device and have it still fit the requirements of the murloc without the murloc looking like an abomination that had been squished into something the size of a murloc.

Grunty was looking forward to this suit because he had been given the run down of all its specs and abilities beforehand, and it was a great honor to be considered good enough to join the Galactic army. Grunty approached the main entryway of Cohembria’s great Castle. An orc dressed in imperial armor ran hurriedly to greet him.

“Grunty!” he exclamed, “my name is Durock. I am one of the King’s imperial guards and I will be escorting you to the armory.” Grunty nodded in approval and followed Durock off into some corridor. After being led through what seemed like and endless maze of halls, they walked into a hallway that was lined with glass boxes. The glass boxes that lined the walls were holding some of the best armor in existence. Of course, they are all obsolete compared to the Battle Suit 3000. This hall opens to the Grand armory of the king, where up on the stage looking thing stood the best Goblin engineer named Rekfoc and the best gnome engineer named Uarfer. Between them was the Battle Suit 3000. 

Upon walking into the room, Grunty’s eyes were drawn to the polished suit that now had a few changes It was painted a deep blue color and had a badge on the right shoulder piece that said MSC in a sharp metallic plate. Cohembria was standing off to the side holding his blessed Imperial Blade that was gleaming with an aura of light

“Welcome,” came the deep voice of Cohembria. The acoustics in the room were very good and so this boomed around the whole room.

“What’s up?” came the unmistakable sound of Rekfoc followed by a “How are you?” that came from Uarfer. 

“Merlargarggg!”, Grunty exclaimed with an excited leap.

It took about 20 minutes to put the suit on Grunty, check the systems, and make the last few calibration checks on his weapon.

“How do you feel?” asked Rekfoc.

“Surprisingly good,” Grunty replied.

“OH YES THE INTERLINGUAL SYSTEMS ARE WORKING!!!” exclaimed Urarfer!

Cohembria walked over, “Grunty, I now promote you to the Murloc Special Corps of the Galactic army of Galdaria!” With a brief tap on each of the suits shoulder pads with the Imperial blade, Grunty was led down another hallway with the goblin and the gnome.

This time the hall opened up into this area with a bunch of wires and parts going everywhere. In the middle was what looked like an air ship being polished by some polisher robots.

“This is the new Time Jump Ship.” Rekfoc informed. “We have a secret mission for you. We need to test if it can survive time travel without destroying itself. The only way of doing this is to have something test it. It is designed to fit a MSC suit like the one you are wearing. Your suit has a tether on it that can pull you back to this certain time if something goes wrong with the jump process.

“Why not?” said Grunty, “I’ll do it!” 

“Thats the spirit!” said Urarfer. It took another 20 minuets to get Grunty all strapped into the Jump Machine. After he was given the rundown of the basic controls of the machine, everyone waved goodbye to him. Grunty was to be sent into the past to the year of 2009 where he was to land, reset to come back to this time zone, and pilot the ship back. Grunty had to press the glowing blue button on the front of his suit to activate the tether and be pulled back without the ship if the ship would happen to get destroyed in the process of time travel. Grunty was ready to go where no murloc had ever gone before: to the past!

Grunty pulled back on his joystick and the ship moved up into the air. He tapped the green button on the dashboard. A loud humming came from behind him as the rear thrusters fired up. All of a sudden, the ship shot backward with such a violent force that, despite all of his straps, Grunty was squished to the front windshield. Suddenly there was a loud CRACK, BANG, BOOM. Then the whole ship powered down.

Grunty awoke to being totally immobilized, stuck inside of the ship. A goblin was outside the ship knocking on it.

“HEY LITTLE GUY ARE YOU AWAKE!!!” the mysterious goblin kept knocking.

“Hang on, I’ll have you out in a second....” he proclaimed as he ran off. 

He returned seconds later with his little red tool box and started rummaging through it. He pulled out a hammer and continued to attempt to smash the glass on the front of the ship. After 24 good hits, the glass finally cracked open. 

“Hey little guy?” he said.

“Hey can you get me out of this contraption?” Grunty asked

“YOU CAN SPEAK?” the goblin jumped back. “Imagine the money I could make off you, a speaking murloc!”

“My name is Grunty,” Grunty said.

“Glad to meet you Grunty, I’m known as Fezzlik. I was on my way back from Blizzcon when I noticed this huge metal thing fly out of nowhere and nail this tree. I ran over to see what I could get outta it.”

“Help me out of here,” Grunty said.

“OK OK, hold on I’ll pull you out in a second.” Fezzlik said.

After 20 minutes of tinkering he had removed the dash of the ship and had unstrapped Grunty. Grunty climbed out and stretched himself. 

“WOA, WHERE’D YOU GET THOSE CLOTHES?” Fezzlik exclaimed!

Grunty continued to tell him about everything which reminded him about the tether. After telling Fezzlik about it and getting ready to go back, he pushed the button...

Nothing... He pushed it many more times. Still nothing. Fezzlik laughed, “The gnome probably designed that piece of garbage! No wonder it doesn't work! You can come live with me, I've got a beach house in the lost isles! Because you are from the future you could help me design all kinds of stuff to make me more rich!”

“Sounds like a plan to me!” Grunty replied. “ By the way, where are we?”

“We are in Azeroth, in the Aneheim woodlands!” Fezzlik replyed. 

As they approached Fezzlik’s Mechano Hog, Grunty noticed a women goblin sitting in the sidecar of the bike.

“Who is the other goblin?” Grunty asked.

“Thats my wife, Shriza,” Fezzlik replied.

“OH HE’S SOO CUTE!” she exclamed as Fezzlik and Grunty walked over.

“He’s gonna come live with us and help us make more money!” Fezzlik replied.

As they were getting into the bike, they heard the crack of a branch, which sounded as though something had stepped on it. Just then a beastly looking worgen stepped from around the corner and let out a howl that would chill the bones of anyone.

“Grunty help me protect Shriza!” Fezzlik yelled

Fezzlik jumped out and grabbed his double daggers and went to attack the beast, Grunty took aim with his highly superior rifle and started firing at the worgen. The rifle shot in short bursts of about 5 shots, every 3 hitting the worgen. After yelping with pain, the worgen took off into the forest running on all fours.

“Great Shot Grunty!” Fezzlik exclaimed!

After agreeing to get out of there because you never know if the worgen has friends close by, they took off in the Mechano Hog toward Grunty’s new home in the lost isles.

Grunty now lives with Fezzlik and Shriza in Fezzlik’s beach house. Grunty could freely adjust to the new home because it was by water, and merlocs need water every once and a while. They ended up towing the Time Jump machine to Fezzliks garage and they are now trying to repair it so maybe one day Grunty will be able to rejoin the MSC...

*The names used in this story were purely made up by me for this story and were not intended to copy off anything in anyway. If they appear elsewhere it is a coincidence*(except for Grunty)

*PART 1

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon in dragonblight. Kalmirea and myself where spending the afternoon renewing old friendships with Trapper Mau’i of the Kula’ak. Trapper spoke to the two of us in a whisper “I’d like you to bag up there pups and bring them back to me”. He was speaking of the Wolvar pups which lived in the camps to the north. Kalmirea and I spent many an afternoon fishing in the sun off the docks of Moa’ki harbor and because of this we felt it was our duty to comply with the request of our old friend. We took a few minutes to check our supplies and then mounted for our short journey to snowfall glade which was just to the north. As we rode up the snow covered path that lead to the first encampment I asked Kalmirea “Do you know how many pups we need to take”? Kalmirea replied “12 sounds like a nice round number”.

The Wolvar where no match for our prowess and we quickly rolled through encampment after encampment capturing the pups. “I have twelve” exclaimed Kalmirea! I quickly bagged up twelve as well and we began our trek back to Moa’ki.

“Trapper my friend, here are the pups you asked us to gather”! We handed him the collection sacks full of Wolvar pups. Trapper was very pleased as he reached into the sacks and carefully played with the tiny Wolvar pups. Suddenly Trapper’s expression became very puzzled. “What is this” he asked as he reached deep into one of the sacks? As his hand arose from the burlap sack we gazed upon a tiny blue murloc. “A Murloc” said Kalmirea “a tiny little Murloc”. I shrugged my shoulders as I reached for the little guy. He quickly jumped into my hand and said “grrldaddygur”… It must have been my elven blue tint and my purple hair. I looked at Kalmirea “What do we do”? “You tell me daddy” Kalmirea said with a giggle….We immediately requested a conference with the Kula’ak leaders. Many a question was asked. Where did he come from? Where is his tribe? No resolutions came! Finally we spoke of the future. “What do we do with him”? It was decided that Kalmirea and I would visit the orphanage in Dalaran and place this little one in there care!

We said our goodbye’s and headed to over to speak with Kula’ak flight master about a flight home. After a moment of chit chat we boarded our griffins and began the long flight home. During the flight this little murloc climbed about the griffin with no fear. From head to tail he frolicked and laughed. It was early evening by now and the lights of Dalaran flickered in the distance. “Kal” I said. “What do you think about us keeping him and raising him as our own”? “Do you think that is a good idea” she asked? “Why not, we have done our share of adventuring and maybe this adventure will pose a never before seen challenge”. As we landed at Krasus’ landing Kal stopped and looked back at me. “Alright let’s do it” she said with a smile. I scooped up the little guy and off to our home, A Hero’s Welcome we went.

The next morning we awoke early. The excitement of a new member in our family brought a new found joy to the morning. Kalmirea and I gathered our gear and decided we would show our new child the city of Dalaran. “Ummm, Shawntaclair” Kal said in a quizzical voice. “What do we call the little guy”? “Hmmmm I don’t quit know. Sam, Steve, Tom. I guess we will have to think on it”. We slowly walked out of the inn. “Where to” Kal asked. “What better place to take a kid on his first trip to the city than Jepetto’s place” I said. So off to the toy store we walked.

**PART 2

As we entered the toy store our little murloc’s eyes gleamed with excitement. He stood entranced in front of the toy train that went round a track in the middle of the floor. “Hello my friends” said Jepetto. “And who might this little guy be”? “Jepetto, this is our new child” I said. Jepetto quickly gathered up some of his inventions and began showing the tiny murloc how they worked. “This is a heavy copper racer” Jepetto said as it raced across the floor. “This is my newest toy the wind up train wrecker” Jepetto stated as the oversized robot smashed the toy train. “Gurglelaughgurgle” laughed our murloc child. “Well off to see the other sites of Dalaran” Kalmirea said as she headed toward the door. “See you later” I said as I scooped up our baby and followed Kalmirea. “Goodbye and enjoy the day” said Jepetto!

We spent most of the morning wondering from shop to shop showing our new child what Dalaran had to offer. “This is Applebough she sells fruit” I said as I handed him some tundra berries. “GRNT” he replied… “And this is Dagna, best gunsmith in Azeroth”! “GRNT” he replied… “Let’s name him Grunty, Kalmirea said! All he does is grunt at everyone, every since we left the toy store”. “I was thinking more along the lines of Shawntaclair jr., but Grunty is a great nickname” I said. So after showing Grunty all the sights of Dalaran we headed back to the Hero’s Welcome to get some rest.

The next few months Grunty was in tow no matter where we went or what we where doing. Many afternoons where spent fishing Glacial Salmon from the rivers of Grizzly Hills or shooting Rhino in Sholazar Basin, all the while telling Grunty about the great adventures of our youth. “Dad, tell me about the Lich King again”…. “Mom, tell me about the time in Stranglethorn Vale with the big tiger”… All Grunty ever talked about was how when he got big, like us, he was going to make a name for himself as an adventurer.

One afternoon in early August I told Grunty I needed to make a trip to Iron forge to speak to my Gnomish engineering trainer Tinkermaster Overspark. He immediately asked “Can I come”? “Sure you can. Hope in my sidecar” I replied. We headed to the portal and to Iron Forge we went. We headed straight to tinker town so I could conclude my training. “Dad, these people are all my size”! “That on has a gun”! “I want my own gun”! “Can I have a gun”? Against my better judgment and knowing that Kalmirea would not approve, I asked Trixie an engineer friend of mine to make a small gun and some ammo for the boy. I then went into the heart of the city where I found Bengus a blacksmith and requested he make a set of extra small cobalt armor for my boy to wear as he begins to learn to hunt on his own. When we returned to Dalaran I surprised Grunty with his new gear. “Awesome” he exclaimed! For the next week he did not take off the gear I gave him. Day or night, rain or shine he was running around Dalaran terrorizing the raiders by firing his tiny gun into the air and yelling “Bring on the Lich King”!

One Thursday morning Grunty came to me and asked “Dad, who is the Prince of Darkness”? “I have no idea” I answered. “Hmmm he sounds evil” Grunty replied. “Why do you ask, son” I said? “Don’t know just saw his name in the Daily today” Said Grunty.

“Oh alright! Hey son, have fun today but don’t forget we have to head to Grizzly Hills on our fishing expedition early in the morning so you need your rest tonight”.

***PART 3

The next morning I awoke early and gathered my things. I went in to get Grunty up for our fishing trip and to my surprise he was not in his bed. There was however, in his stay a note attached to the bedpost.

Mom and Dad,

It is time I make you proud. I am off to Anaheim to slay the “Prince of Darkness” not real sure who he is but from what I read in the Azeroth daily he will be taking a crazy train to a battleground called Blizzcon on August 21st. It says he is a rock god so I will use track elementals like Dad taught me. I changed my socks and have all my gear is polished so it should be an easy battle for me. After I slay this mean guy I will come home and be a great Night elf like Dad.

Love you,

Shawntaclair Jr. aka Grunty

Panic ran through my veins. I ran from store to store, person to person “HOW DO I GET TO ANAHEIM”? No one knew…No one…….

Kalmirea and I spent the whole day in the hidden chamber of the Kirin Tor crying. We wondered where, why, how?????? That evening a dear friend of ours Tilung brought word that our beloved son had been found. “Read this” he said as he handed me the Azeroth Daily. The article spoke of a young murloc who was found in the woods just outside of Anaheim by some Goblins and Worgen. They described him as a young space marine but I knew it was Grunty. It was true he had been found! Now to find some nice Curse staff members to read this story and port him back to me…..